Tuesday, April 28, 2009

When I Was a Little Girl

some of what happen now remind me of the 'little' me. yes, way back to the yester-years of being that little girl.

that time was the time when i was innocent, the time when i don't really use my head before acting, the time when everything seem so easy to be lived for, the time that i can really laugh for the entire day and slept soundly without worrying sick of anything.

the time when i was stupid like a cow being a little bit naughty.

Case 1
i'm not a cute girl to begin with. i have my own tanned skin which i believed mom was craving for the soy sauce when she was carrying me.

erk, kenape fikir sampai macam tuh skali?

blame to the fact of my mom told me that she was craving for soy drink when she was carrying Aca. FYI, she's fair.

soy drink=white
soy sauce=black

sape tak emo. haha. tadek la. emo time kekecik je.

when i was 9 or 10, fair n lovely was a hit on the beauty chart. as a kid that totally got under influence and a desperation of being a beauty (hhahahaah), i asked my dad to go buy it for me.

"abah, akak rase akak nak fair n lovely la"
"nape akak nak fair n lovely?"
"sbb akak nak putih, orang lain putih je. abang putih, aca putih, akim, asha pon same"
"akak cat je la muke akak. lagi putih dari sumer orang. abah hitam ok je? *sengih*"

langsung diam tanda protes. tp still abah tak belikan. *lari dengan perasaan terguris*
- mase nih asha putih lagi la. hahahahahah skang dah same ngan akuuuuuuuuuu

Case 2
since Aca is the cute girl at that time with the package of short, straight hair, fair and chubby, i have nothing to be compete with. i'm brown, keding lak tuh. tapi kenape ako nak compete? cause one of my favourite cousin said "Aca ni kiut la" hati nih membuak-buak la nak cantik.

since he got his eyes on her, i've choosed to pick another path. the lead singer boyband 'Exist' was the one that i turned to. yer, si Mamat tuh.

i remembered that a padlock had accidentally fell onto my feet, and my toes were bleeding. i was crying like hell and what i've asked for was Mamat to rescue me.

bodohnyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. tolong la lempang ako laju-laju

Case 3
i would say i'm a successful bully. as an innocent-look bully, i focused my job inside the family circle only, means the victims would be my dear bro and sistahs. but usually my bro would be the great Personal Assistant in executing our 'brilliant' plan to our sistahs (HA HA HA gelak jahat) and the plan would be executed only behind our parents as we want to avoid any punishment listed below:

ranking punishment (most popular):
1. cubitan 'merah' kasih sayang dari umi (mmg umph)
2. kene baling hanger baju
3. kene rotan
4. jengilan mata yang ganas

there was a day when me and bro digging Spidey's spiderweb (we found it's uber-cool) and we've decided to do one, our own version. using chewing gums. we've chewed a lots of chewing gums, and started making it into a shape like a thin thread and streched each ends to the door panel.

rupe pintu setelah didekorasi dengan chewed gum

kim, who is around 4-5 that time, wanted to join us building the spiderweb, but we've declined. budak kecik mane terel buat spiderweb, fikir ako time tuh. but she kept on insisted to join us although we've keep demured her. by the time we've finished with our web, we're totally amazed of our work. me and my bro were proud and stand in awe looking at our own version. erm, what's the fun left after a thing are done? we've destroyed it. :D

"kim, meh sini. lalu la kat tgh tuh *sambil tunjuk kat spiderweb versi kami*"
"haa? lalu ke?"
"haah lalu la. lalu la!"

maka, berlalulah kim ke tgh-tgh spiderweb itu. "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!"

the chewing gums are all over kim's hair. me and my bro changing look to each other. for sure, we were panicked. we've to rush before umi finds out about this. yet.. we were too late..

"Akak, Abang??! Ape yang korang dah buat nih?"

umi was shocked to see kim in that condition while us beside her. while she was trying to get the gums off from kim's hair, she gave tons of nagging and scolded us for our doings. sangat penat telinga nih menadah.

not to forget, kim got a hair cut that day to get rid the gums. bad news was, it doesn't suits her at all. hahaha.

*maafkan akak, kim*

Case 4
me and my bro loooooveee to drink A&W root beer. we love the sensational feeling when drinking it, which we would say "Aaah" after gulping the drink. Abah has bought 1 bottle of it as there were guests coming to the house.

but, we've tend to fight over the drink with the guest as we want to drink it as well, and abah was furious about it (malu la tuh anak gadoh-gadoh depan guest. haha). so, when the guests were gone, abah was back with 2 bottles of A&W root beer. suke nye kami tidak kepalang wieeeyyyy!

abah called us both to sit in the kitchen and placed one bottle each in front of us.

"Ha, nak sangat kan. minum nih sampai habis. kalau tak habis, jangan naik"

erk.. i was confused with his statement but i can see my bro was excited to finish it all up.

5 minutes passed by

"umi, akak dah tak larat la nak minum. minum esok takleh ker?"

baru tahu tak larat kan nak habeskan. abg yg rase gagah nak minum pon tak larat tau. :P

that was a part of my foolishness, silly-lilly and when i think it back, it would give me a smile or a small laugh, and somehow it can make my day. yeah i really wish i'm not that kid when i was small, but when the bits are gone, there're nothing left to be laughed to.

tapi sayang la tak penah buli asha mase kekecik. oops!


aku sayang famili aku. sob sob sob.

Friday, April 3, 2009

i don't mind..

i can be mad,
and i can be sad,
as what i expected,
can always be rejected.

i can be loved,
and i can be hated,
as what i have,
is just me to be offered.

i did love you,
i did trust you,
i did please you,
but i never can satisfied you.

i don't know either i'm stronger,
i don't know either i'm weaker,
i don't know why you still linger,
in my head playing like a spinner.

my head telling me that we're off,
but my heart still kept you a place, and i'm falling off.

i am sorry. i wish i could handle it better.