Monday, November 24, 2008

He He He He

* BIG GRIN * hihihihihihi

at last, my get away! yeay! hope i do enjoy myself there although my sis have said it's gonna be raining over there. ape ape je la kan? asal leh coci mate

see you next week then! :D

p/s: best best leh lari lari lari lari lari dan lari. eh eh, please pray for me a safe journey :)

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Beyond My Control

from where i'm standing now, it's not a beautiful view anymore. all the hopes where my faith are, have been collapsed along with the trust i put in you. if i do owe you an appology, please forgive me then. i'm tired, seriously i'm tired. are you satisfy now by making me in this state? what would you do when it's happening to you? will you remember this and hope it never happen? i never asked for something bad to happen to you, cause trust me, i dear you. but i just don't want to hurt myself and be in denial. and i backed off. so please, just stop. i have enough of it already.

"i am hurt than ever..".

thanks for showing the true color. lotsa peeps asked me to move on but i don't want. i thought i can mend it. i thought somehow i can make it better. but i've failed. i guess it's time for me to retreat. it's the best for now. thanks.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

My Weird-ness

do you know a person around 160cm tall, slender, cute girl being pushed away by the big whoosh-whoosh wind while phoning her friend, all way back there from UK to Malaysia? if you do, please tell her to not go out alone again without any companion as she might really be flew by the wind. hehehe lariiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- anyway, after a fun week teaching my juniors, i guess i'm back to my normal life. man, i'm so desperate to do another job that relating to what i'm doing now, which i hope to give me more chance to improve myself in this technology. instead, i'm getting another editorial job. yeah the sidang redaksi sekolah editorial job. oh mind you, it's not that i'm hating it. it's just, something that happen to not related to my job scope at all. weird for a software engineer like me (ye sangat software engineer) to do an editor's job. but... somehow, actually i'm having fun with it! go ask 'why?' and the answer would be that i've learned something new from it; photoshop which i'm not that familiar to, and now it's fun to do some design using it. walaaahh siap satu design ecewah padahal bukan hebat mane pon.

walao bagamaina pungg, bukannye hambe nak bercerite pasal itu disini. i just want to write what i'm feeling inside now. i really do. *sigh*

i want to scream out straight from my lungs "AKO BOSAN GILE DAH NIHHHHHH" at my cubicle, but sadly i would straightly be recognized as someone who has lost her mind and should be sent to the famous Tanjung R. and i don't want for them to react that way. the money that would be used to send me there would cost them a fortune, and it's gonna be a waste to spend money in that way. pegy shopping lagy bagus. kan kan kan.

*sigh lagy skali*

ok la ako straight to the point ke topic utama la. Tagged by Ms Nadxoxo


1. ako rase ako normal. pelikkan ako? padahal normal ke ako macam nih? haih

2. hurm, i dunno either this is weird or not, but when i'm sort of want to joke around in the angry mode (konon-konon marah), i tend to kembang kempiskan idung i yg kembang nih. mr bf and mr syafiq K have innocently seen it, realized it and totally stunned by the degree of the 'nose opening' (i think so). at one point, mr bf imitated my way, and i straightly recognized it right away and told him to not do that again as i already patent it on my name. ye biar ako sorang je kembang kempis idong. toksah nak tiru tiru.

3. i'm a seasonal food eater. let's say now i'm in the mood of eating char kuey teow botak SK, and i would be craving it for some time. i still can eat it today although it's just yesterday i've ate it. and it could last for a few days, or a week. then it'll be back to normal, and when the craving come again, the schedule wouldn't dissapoint me in doing the same as the previous one. but this only applies to some dishes, not all.

4. i can be in any emotion just in a blink of eyes. yes, i can be happy and sad or angry in a split second to be precise. i'm not proud of it, but it's in my nature. my bf even said that "it's enough to tell that you have a mood of the monsoon". berubah rubah. hurm..

5. i like to think way far behind although the things are still under control. many says it's norm for us to think like that, but for me it's a burden and even i want to get rid of it, it still stuck here in my own self. it would be nice to have just a little thing to be worried.

6. i love to play a part of the genre i listened to. standard 2, dengar lagu Feminin "Untukmu", dah mule meraban nak start a girl's group. standard 6, i've imagined to be the backup dancer of BSB. yes, with the feeling to stare deep at Nick Carter while he's singing "As Long As You Love Me". ye sume tuh hanyalah angan-angan budak kecik. form 2, GreenDay was one of my favourite band at that time. started to feel ala ala Tre Cool. ye la cayalah. balik rumah ketuk je ape ape yg bleh di ketuk. form 3, got the chance to know Butterfinger. amek raket badminton layan goreng. cayalah jugak. anyway, thanks god, it just stopped there. me now into singing and dancing only, so it's something that i really can do instead of ketuk tong or goreng raket badminton. so un-cool ok.

7. sometimes, i can feel that i treat some of my friends like my sisters/brothers, as in treated them like i treat Abang, Aca, Akim or Asha. it's kinda disturbing, haha. ye la derang bukan adik adik ako. tp ako treat cam adik-adik ako. so end up, they will be bullied by me. just hoping that they're not feel hurt by the way i'm treating them. it's like already in my nature, being the big sis.

8. pelik nape ako dtg keje lagy although keje tadek di opis. *sigh sambil golek golek*

oh dah la tuh. cukup cukup. sbb ako rase diri ako tak cukup pelik utk di'list'kan point-point yang seterusnye. tp tatau la klo bagi korang ako pelik. heh.

NEXT would be:
- ms Kimot
- ms Azwa
- ms Reha
- ms Reen

sorry gurls, ako mmg tak pandai main tag tag nih sebenarnye. tp just for an idea korang nak update blog. tanak buat pon takpe la, tapi klo sharing bagus jugak leh tau kan kan. hehe.

ta for now!

p/s: serius weih ako tadek ape ape ngan remi tuh. tolong la jgn buat spekulasi.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Bad Nightmare

tough week peeps. just because my good friend have a nightmare.


what would you do, in a situation that you're stucked between your own priority and your best friend's (note BFF) priority. would you choose to have:

a. your priority first rather than having your BFF priority OR
b. your BFF's priority first rather than having your priority.

yes, you only can have one choice at that time. which one would you choose?

definitely we would want to opt for our priority but somehow if we do that, we're on the bad side; like we don't care about our BFF. like we will just let her stand alone in the dark without holding their hand. man, that's just so in-human of you! (thought said)

and what if we prioritize their's first? how's that gonna affect you inside out? your friend will be happy but yes, it will definitely affect you somehow depends on the matter you've been prioritizing. others been telling, "sacrifice for the one you love" but is it worth it to sacrifice for your BFF when it will make yourself damaged, just because you didn't follow your own heart.

look, whatever choice you make will affecting everyone around you, your BFF and you yourself. it's how you cope with it, how you look at it, how you managed the mess. i must say that i really don't mind to sacrifice as long as the person appreciate my effort, appreciate myself as a friend. and i do believe it's same goes to some of you.

being the bigger person is always have to be in our top list especially when someone who is dear to us, is in trouble or have some issue. we're the one who will always be there to support our friend. we're the trusted person.

who said BFF don't fight with each other. they do fight, they do have misunderstanding. but do they bitch about their BFF? a big NO here. although they're fighting, deep down inside them there's a lil sound shrieked "I missed her". and for the others who actually done the bitching without actually know the real story, it's truly show the immature side of you. boo-hoo to yourself. it's them who actually got into the fight, and you just making it worsen. it seem so simple that you don't like others to be happy. enuff said.

i really hope they're back together again. they used to be happy together, sit lepak-ing doing the girl's talk, sharing and updating stories; they're even like sisters already.

i really don't know why when she called that night, i nearly cried along with her, but i just feel that i need to be the bigger person and let her do all the crying. i barely can do anything except be a good listener, and to be there with her. i know it's not enough, but please stay strong babe.

me love you.