The Old Memory

i have done some packing for the job training in Bangalore that has been scheduled tomorrow, and now it has been cancelled due to management issue. half happy and half upset. heh. i do think i'm ok with it after our lil talk at mamak last night with mun mun and wa wa (haha cam twin lak). and yes, my dear BF is soooo happy with the news. that means (for him) that he won't celebrate our 6th anniversary alone this upcoming 12th January. horrrey!

but i do worried about the status of the company. it does worries me much.. sigh sigh sigh

while i'm packing my bag for the trip a few day before, it bring along the old memories back when i have the offer from the boarding school.

jeng jeng jeng
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"akak, dah buat check list cam abah suruh tuh?"
"dah. nape bah?"
"meh sini nak tengok (paused ngan kerut kerut muke) nape cam ade banyak je yang tak cukup. isk. meh la abah tambah lagi"

and he went on writing more things into my checklist (which is yang sebenar-benarnye incomplete yet because abah is so strict by the due date i just told him that i've done with it. huhuhu haruu). and later abah passed the list to me again, and to my amazement, the list has gone 2 times longer than the previous one.

talking about my dad, dude. he's all about perfection in work, although he can be as laid back as he wanted. haha

anyway, what can be expected from the form 1 student when this is her first time she gonna be far away from her parents. you could assume that she haven't prepared anything, because she believed she just going to the same school as the other school.

the time has come for the registration. farhana and nazihah have waited for me for quite some time just to make sure that we will have the same dormitory, but sad news to us as they already placed our name to the designated dorm. me and farhana were on our half-lucky strike as we were placed in the same dorm, while nazihah's dorm was at the 3rd floor.

farhana, being the one who are very closed to her family, was being totally gloomy that day. she doesn't like the idea of being far away from her family, which for me i totally didn't understand at that time. because at that time, i'm the person who don't know what's 'missing someone' means. i'm not that close to my family either at that time rasenye la kut

week passed us by, and i can see the whole 1st week, the public telephones provided were fully occupied. there were 3 telephones overall at our hostel, and girls do fight about their rights using the phone (mind you there were some people that will go on talking talking talking sob sob and talking like for-evah!)

"mak, tak suke la duk sini. tak same la cam kat umah *teary eyes*"

"mak, nape lauk kat sini tak sedap macam yg mak masak kat umah eh? tak best la"

"mak, tolong la amek saye balik. sangatla tak best kat hostel nih"

sumer nak ber-mak mak la kan. kat umah tanak ber-mak mak. baru ko tahu duk jauh dari mak bapak.

what i'm trying to tell here is that, everyone was feeling homesick and i wonder am i the only one who is happy here? why i'm not reacting as them? why i don't feel anything? if i called home, i won't take a long time to chit chatting with my family. enough with asking how are they doing and chit chat a little bit more and i'm done. but the others would be so draggy when they called home.

i labeled them as 'the crybaby' *yer betapa sombong nye ako time tuh*

every weekend farhana would received a visit from her parents. being me who is a close friend to her at that time, and has known her parents for some a quite time, i'll always be beside her when she was meeting them. i can see there was a smile on her face, something warm wraps her. i'm quite sure she was happy when seeing them there close to her.

every time her parents make a visit to her, that every time too they will asked me "abah ngan umi tak datang ker?" and i would politely replied, "tak la uncle. abah busy kot"

but.. 4th week came, and they asked the same question, and i'm giving the same old answer, her father suddenly said, "takpela, uncle pon bleh jadik abah atiqah kan?" and he smiled.

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*dumbstruck*

i can feel like my heart have stopped. i stood there, and it was hard to breath. too many eyes were staring at me, waiting for me to give my response. slowly i manage to get my composure back and replied with a soft, weak smile, "nak masuk dulu la, saje jumpe uncle ngan auntie nak salam-salam dan tanye khabar. jumpe lagi!".

i dashed to the toilet and sobbed. and the sobbing worsen with the thought that my parents haven't seen me for a month, and just now my friend's father said he can be my father. bang! i'm not mad at him for saying that. really, it just hit me with the reality.

for a 13 years old teenager, i'm not thinking at my best. i'm not at my best for the clueless emotional rampage. i'm not a spoilt kid back in home, but this is my first time seeing myself in a weak condition. i've barely knew myself anymore when i realized that i'm crying harder. is this me? is this the real me?

later, i called home, and i did what the others did. the draggy conversation, the sobbing part, the mak-mak thingy, all have came back to me right on my face. HAHAHA look, who is the crybaby now eh? *raised up my white flag kuang kuang kuang*

abah directly came at me the very next day. and i got TONS of surprise. wahhhhhh

1. lotsa food; junk food, chocs, sweets you named it.
2. some new long sleeve shirt
and the most important thing at that time
3. my first ever walkman :D

huahuahuahuahuahauah. tak nanges dah. bleh tahan bapak ako sogok ako :D

thanks to this school because without this experience i wouldn't be teached on how to be independent and know to appreciate others.

me luv ma familia!

p/s: aca kasik nih semalam while having our sisterly-dine-out "motorsikal apa yang berpusing-pusing tapi tak bergerak". the answer is totally hilarious. haha but i guess everybody knew it already pon :D